you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
