God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
