Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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