Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
