I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
