So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
