and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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