Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
