My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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