is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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