how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
wow bdsm is so cute
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize