Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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