Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
