A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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