I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
