I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
that may or may not have been my penis.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
