The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
