If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
