ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
