I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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