Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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