We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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