what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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