Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
