i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
