She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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