I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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