Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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