i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
