wat bout pragnant strippers??
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
