I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
