If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
