you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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