In America we eat man semen.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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