when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
