it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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