some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
