What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
