whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
