It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize