my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
