It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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