I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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