Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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