I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
