His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
No subtext here. People are naked.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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