Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
