just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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