just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
