Have you finally orgasmed yet?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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