You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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