You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
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I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
