shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
