Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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