It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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