I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
