My nipple is on Facebook.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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