New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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