ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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