When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
