all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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