these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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