That's intense
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
well you can't waste a boner
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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