you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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