I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
