You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i wish my penis had a tongue
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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