i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
