Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize