FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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