Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
