he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There's always time for handjobs
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize