You work out of a Hotel?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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