You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
