its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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