I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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