No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
