So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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