; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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