i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
