I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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