don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
