No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
