But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
