Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
