You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize